We are no more, but have a new comedy site

Sorry, it's been a while since we've done any updates to the site, but there is good news. Seriously WTF People may be dead, but we have a new comedy blog for you. Visit us now at WebLolz.com - The Web's Funniest Lolz. Web Lolz is our newest blog filled with all kinds of funny posts to keep you entertained. We hope you enjoy it.

Man Eats 25,000 Big Mac's

Well, not at the same time, but a 58 Wisconsin resident recently ate his 25,000th Big Mac over a span of 39 years.

The most amazing part is that he is surprisingly not 500 pounds and dead. While I love Big Mac's as much as the next person, eating 25,000 of them seems like the stupidest idea in the world and I'm amazed he has no health problems as a result. Sometimes he would eat 9 a day. 9 A DAY!!!!!! Who thought that was a good idea.

OK, let's break it down:

Each Big Mac contains 540 calories, 29 grams of fat, 24 grams of sugar and 1020 milligrams of salt.

So if we do the math:

That's 13,500,000 calories. That's right 13.5 MILLION CALORIES!!! Or the equivalent of 14.8 YEARS worth of calories if your daily intake is 2,500 calories.

As for fat, that's 725,000 grams of fat or 1598 pounds or 3/4 of a TONS!!! I know elevators that would buckle under the weight of the fat alone!

600,000 grams of sugar, which is over 1,322 pounds of sugar or 34 pounds of sugar a year. The average American consumes almost 40 pounds of sugar a year and this guy almost hit that target on Big Mac's alone!

25,500,000 milligrams of salt equals out to just over 56 pounds, that's a lot of salt.

No matter how you break it down, this guy should be long dead, but somehow keeps on going. Take that Morgan Spurlock!

SERIOUSLY WTF PEOPLE??????????????

Wales Man Try's Boarding Train With.......A PONY!!!

Sorry folks, it's been awhile, but I'll try to be more regular with the postings!

Here's one that seems so ridiculously preposterous it can't be true........But it is.

Apparently some moron in Wales tried boarding a train with HIS PONY! When confronted by the conductor an argument ensued as he could not for the life of him figure out why they didn't want his pony boarding the train. While most people with an IQ of over 60 would have just called it a day, the man figured out what he THOUGHT the problem was and decided to buy his traveling buddy a ticket.

Needless to say he was refused!

Buddy must have been confused when people talk about trains and horsepower!

SERIOUSLY WTF PEOPLE???????????

Happy Mothers Day

I could go without thinking about my mother and dildo's, but I guess roses are so 2009!

What sick depraved lunatic came up with this sign? Why would you be thinking of sex toys on mothers day?

A special thanks to the fine people of Adult World.

I would write more, but I need to shower to get this filth off of me.

SERIOUSLY WTF PEOPLE???????

Free Candy!!!!!

Free candy? Why not just write beware: child rapist on board?

Does anyone else find a problem with a grown man driving around in a large van marked with free candy? I bet you can find him lurking around elementary schools across the nation.

SERIOUSLY WTF PEOPLE??????

Help I Have A Pickle Up My Ass!

I guess this guy got sick and tired of his friends asking him "what crawled up your ass?" Now everybody knows he has a pickle up his butt.

What better way to tell everyone you know that you are a real stickler than this tattoo?

At least he has a sense of humor about his anal retentive behaviour.

SERIOUSLY WTF PEOPLE???????

Attention Utah - Stop Drinking Poison

People of Utah, do you really need a newspaper reminder not to drink poison? Clearly this is something you should already know. Is Utah the poison capital of America or something?

Some of the finer points discussed in this article include "never refer to medicine as candy". Who is referring to their meds as candy? That is just bad parenting. I have an idea, lets associate potentially harming medications as something fun and delicious that children cannot resist like candy. While you're at it why not refer to drain cleaner as candy.

SERIOUSLY WTF PEOPLE????????

I Got Married At McDonalds!!!!!!!!

Hmmmmmm I wonder whose catering this wedding? Have you had the Big Mac buffet? Be sure to try the fries fountain.

Why are you having your wedding at McDonalds? Is this were you met? Had your first date? Did it for the first time on their sticky bathroom floors? WHY????

Also way to dress up for the occasion. I guess you didn't want to spill secret sauce all over a nice new wedding dress.

I just hope the vows weren't exchanged with a "Ba Da Ba Bop Ba........ I do".


SERIOUSLY WTF PEOPLE????????

I <3 The 80's

Good lord that is a lot of hair metal bands on your back. I wonder how the tattoo artist kept a straight face for any of these. Maybe one or two bands would be alright, but did you have to add every band that had a monster ballad?

And does that say House of Pain on top? So you enjoy hair rock and only one early 90's rap group?

That is also one of the saddest tattoo's of what seems to be Randy Rhoads. I can only imagine that the front of him is covered in tattoo's of monster trucks and Bud Light logo's.

SERIOUSLY WTF PEOPLE?????????

Top 5 Worst Album Covers Ever

#5 Devastatin' Dave

Oh 80's Rap, How could we ever forget you? Strangely enough this is not far off from Kanye West's fashion sense. I only wonder if anyone recognizes him at the local high school were he is now a janitor. I guess now he is just Devastated Dave.


#4 The Faith Tones

At first I couldn't believe my eye's when I saw this one. Of course after a quick Google I realized that the Astroglide part was a clever touch by some Photoshopper. Regardless, this still stands as an awful album cover. "Jesus Use Me"???? What a ridiculous title. Trust me, just like every other man on the planet, Jesus wants nothing to do with you three.


#3 Tino

I wonder if the phrase "Twink" was around when this album came out. Perhaps "Twink" became slang as soon as this record dropped. Or maybe this album is the inspiration for every creepy underage looking American Appeal ad. Either way its just creepy. I bet it's on heavy rotation in every record player of grown men that love small boys.


#2 Chicken Coupe De Ville

Featuring smash hits? Who are you kidding? If by smash hits you mean someone other than your Grandpappy Earl Bucky Jr. has heard the song, than yes I believe you have a hit song. But if you use the Billboard charts to define smash hit, than no, no hits here. I do however want to hear the track "I Seen Her First". I imagine its a poetic love song about calling dibs on your cousin.


#1 Millie Jackson

I hope whoever came up with this album concept was instantly fired. Who thought it was a good idea to get Millie on the can squeezing one out? As if that wasn't a bad enough idea, they had to up the ante by making it look like the biggest crap of her life. Look at her face. She is doing everything in her power to get those bowels moving. It's so bad she needed to take off a shoe just to get something to squeeze on.

SERIOUSLY WTF PEOPLE????????

Facebook Got Me Fired!

Did you forget you and your boss were friends on Facebook?

Why do people still think they are anonymous on the Internet? Never, but never write something about your job online. Even if you weren't stupid enough to have your boss on Facebook, a quick Google search by them would probably come up with this status, especially since I imagine this person wasn't smart enough to know about privacy settings.

Remember people, social networking can get you jobs, but it can also lose you jobs!

What a moron.

SERIOUSLY WTF PEOPLE??????????

Big Mac's Vs. Big Kids

If you rent out billboards on top of each other eventually you will get a contradicting message.

Obviously the woman on the bottom does in fact take child obesity lightly since she is parading around with bags full of wonderful, delicious McDonald's. Honestly I can't blame her. Looking at these two ads side by side and I gotta say I want McDonald's too.

I guess the score is officially McDonald's 1, child obesity 0. Sorry fat kids everywhere, you lose again.

SERIOUSLY WTF PEOPLE?????????

Piercings Guaranteed To Scare Pesky Children

I get it, you want to be an individual and not look like everybody else right? But when did looking like an individual mean you had to look like a demon?

I would love to be a fly on the wall for every job interview this man has gone for.

SERIOUSLY WTF PEOPLE?????????

Top 5 Worst Product Names

#5 Krack Nuggets

Lays Potato Chips may have the phrase "Betcha can't eat one", but Krack Nuggets mean it. These nuggets are addictive and have inner city kids everywhere hocking grandma's jewelery just for their next hit.


#4 Pee Cola

You can never be mature enough to not laugh at something called Pee Cola. Go ahead and try. Luckily it is cola colored and not yellow cause I think that would turn anyone off.


#3 Pet Sweat Water

Sometimes things are lost in translation. At least I hope they are lost in translation. Of course I can't for the life of me think what the actual product would be called in its native tongue. Maybe "thirsty as a dog"? Is that even a saying? Maybe it really is high end bottled dog sweat.


#2 Wack Off Insect Repellent

Usually when a gel comes in a bottle called Wack Off you don't think of insect repellent. However, this is used by the armed forces to ward off pesky tropical bugs. Of course no one can figure out why they have mosquito bites all over their bodies except for their penises. We have our top minds trying to figure that one out.


#1 ShitBegone

Could you come up with any more of a literal name for your product? I guess the people down at ShitBegone really do call a spade a spade. I just hope this product takes off so they can expand their product line. How about VaginaDam for their tampon line or SpermStopper for condoms?


SERIOUSLY WTF PEOPLE??????

Seriously WTF Thanksgiving Turkey Recipe

Just in time for the Thanksgiving holiday, Seriously WTF People brings you a perverted turkey recipe instead of our regular ranting and raving. Enjoy.


Ingredients:
1 whole turkey
1 large lemon, cut into halves
salt and pepper to taste
butter or olive oil, whichever you prefer

Heat oven to 350 degrees

Rub butter or oil over the skin of the turkey until it is completely coated.
-Sprinkle with salt and pepper and any other seasonings you prefer.

Take a knife and gently separate the skin from the breast meat;
-Slide lemon halves under the skin with the peel side up, one on each side. This way the juice from the lemon will release into the breasts.
-Cover and bake for 30-45 minutes. Remove cover and continue to roast until juices run clear, basting every 15-20 minutes.
-If you've followed these steps correctly, your turkey should look like the one in the picture.

Bon Appetit!

Happy Thanksgiving everybody.


SERIOUSLY WTF PEOPLE???????

There Is No T In Extreme

Newsflash: People who are actually extreme don't need to advertise it in a giant tattoo splattered across their chest.

As well, those who feel they need to boast just how extreme they are have the intelligence and basic grasp of the English language to properly spell extreme. Yes sir, you are in fact missing a T!!!

Just so you are clear, if you are in the market for a second tattoo the correct spelling should be D-O-U-C-H-E.

SERIOUSLY WTF PEOPLE?????????

Stupid Facebook Status's And Their Owners

So your ex-girlfriend calls you out for being a 26 year old loser with no job and a stupid goatee and instead of defending your position in life, you call her out on making fun of your stylized facial hair?

Are you fine with the fact that you are an unemployed loser? I guess so. Just as long as people appreciate the time you spend grooming the perfect goatee.

As a sidebar, how does an unemployed loser with chiseled facial hair get two girls to bust out into a catfight on a Facebook status?

SERIOUSLY WTF PEOPLE???????

Global Warmer

This is a pic I found on my computer that I took over the summer.

First off are you that much of a douche that you bought a gas guzzler and decided to get a vanity plate that reads GLBLWRMR or are you just ignorant of climate change as a whole?

Why not just buy a t-shirt with the word "asshole" printed across the front?

SERIOUSLY WTF PEOPLE???????

Top 5 Worst Parents

Sorry everyone it has been a while since I've posted so I'll try and make it up to you with a top 5 list. This time its the top 5 worst parents.


#5 Get Daddy A Beer

So dad is too lazy to get himself a beer so he fetches his young son to go get one for him. Oh wait, daddy is also too lazy and/or drunk to consume the beer so it's no problem to have his son pour it into his mouth. NO WAIT THAT IS A PROBLEM. A BIG PROBLEM.

What the hell is wrong with you sir?

Speaking of hell, the icing on the cake is the cross hanging from the tyke's neck. I am sure this family has the highest respect at their local church!


#4 White Trash Babysitter

Got a hot date for the demolition derby? Taking the wifey out for an anniversary dinner to the monster truck rally? Brooks and Dunn in town? But oh no, the babysitter has been busted for smoking Meth again.

No worries. Just slap some duct tape over your little ones and they can't get into any mischief while you "go at it" in the back of your F-150. Just be sure you tape up their favorite stuffed animal beside them. You don't want that kid to cry. That would just make you awful parents!


#3 The MILF

They say if you got it, flaunt it. However, I don't believe the saying is true in front of your children. Yeah mom you may be hot, but your kid doesn't need to check out your butt in your sexiest pair of undies!

Also why do you not own any furniture other than a bed in your house? I guess this photo makes more sense if this is in fact a crack house or if mommy turns tricks for a living.

If this isn't traumatizing enough for the kid, just wait a few more years when he's destroyed because all his high school friends have banged his mom.


#2 Baby Stag

Look if you couldn't get a babysitter for your buddies stag party, maybe you should have invested in some duct tape and got yourself the ol' white trash babysitter.

The best is the woman in red in the back who is frowning on a girl earning her way through college by covering her breasts in whipped cream. Maybe she should focus her glare where it belongs......On the guy who brought a baby to watch strippers.


#1 The Marlboro Baby

Are babies faces usually this red or is it from drinking that tall boy in his hand? Since the kid is still in diapers, I imagine the logic is he might not be old enough to poop, but he's old enough for beers and smokes.

I believe this is what you call a white trash Bar Mitzvah! Your boy is now officially a man.

SERIOUSLY WTF PEOPLE???????

Buy A-Rod's Miami Mansion

Has anyone seen the website Billionaire Exchange? Basically it's ebay for rich people. What is ebay to low brow for billionaires?

NY Yankee's A-Rod is selling his Miami home through it here and so far no bidders at the modest starting bid of $9,999,999.00.

Looks like this recession is hitting everybody.

And whats with the boat slip directly beside the house? Is this the only way in? By boat? Man that must have been hell for the movers.

SERIOUSLY WTF PEOPLE?????